About seven years ago, I found myself falling further into a depression that originated from a growing anger and frustration with a number of personal challenges and disappointments I had been grappling with throughout my twenties and thirties--all of which would unknowingly set my course towards a greater pain that I thought I would never experience in domestic violence. Previous to that experience, at the genesis of that downward slope, I got desperate one day and opened the scriptures to reread the parable of the woman with the issue of blood. I read it over and over frantically, pouring over the details, trying to figure out how I could get from under where I was, but I couldn't find an answer, which multiplied my panic and sense of hopelessness.
Every time I've viewed a depiction of that parable before or since, the woman is always portrayed as a woman of shame, who can barely stand being noticed or looked upon. However, if she were really ashamed of her condition, she would have been living in isolation and would have never been privy to knowing that Christ was passing by. Instead, she still believed in her value. She kept going to doctors. She remained active and visible in her community. I think it speaks volumes about how she felt about herself--that she felt worthy to continue living her life within a community that considered her disposable, so much so that her presence was considered the equivalent to contagion. The "you can't sit with us" mantra was never so real as demonstrated in her story.
From a physiological P.O.V,, I believe the reason she had to strain to touch the robe of Christ was not out of fear of being seen or the amount of people crowding him at that moment, but because that's all she could do given her condition and the lack of hemoglobin and oxygen from the anemia she experienced. All she had the strength to do was to touch his robe. Ironically (or not) she would not have been able to reach him, if it were not for the crowd slowing him down as he passed. She had already demonstrated great faith in her lifestyle and her mindset. She went all-in everyday for twelve years straight, pursuing a solution, and when the opportunity arose, it was only a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. Literally, her faith made her well.
No matter what your challenge is or how chronic your condition, try to find one thing a day you can do to foster your creativity or reinforce self care. Advocate for yourself daily. Make that one call. Write that one bar, verse or page of dialogue. Send that one email. Complete that one 20 minute set of exercise or meditation. Drink that one liter of water. Say that one prayer or affirmation. No matter how small, it will be seen, and you will be prepared and trusted to receive the help that is coming your way, when it arrives.
On the flip, if everything is golden in your life, consider taking your plus one and investing it into someone who needs the support through your art--whether that be your audience or client--or schedule a coffee with a colleague or friend who is facing a challenge to keep them lifted, as they continue their work towards their recovery.
One Faith. One Mindset. Do you... plus one.